The following is a guest post by my funny sister, Nancy, who provided this in the event that I ran thin on material. Well, that time has definitely come. So, here’s the post: Confessions of a TV Addict.
Hi. My name is Nancy and I watch TV.
It amazes me how many people won’t admit this. “We don’t have TV” I hear all the time, only to be told that they do “have a TV” but only use it to watch movies, DVDs, Netflix, Youtube… Oh, ok…right… yes, I watch all that too, but at least I’m not kidding myself about what it is. You sit – the box talks – that’s TV.
I watch network TV. “Oh, but aren’t those sitcoms mostly pretty stupid?” Yes. Yes, they are. I watch reruns of sitcoms I’ve seen 10 times before. I watch Matlock. Ok, not very often, and not without mocking it, but I will watch it. And I don’t even have to have a high fever, although it helps.
I rarely watch the news. Something visually exciting has to be going on – a fire, a huge uprising. I don’t want to hear about local crimes or “that mother in Texas.”
I watch reality shows. I know they’re not real. That’s OK. I like the one where they run around the world having to do silly stunts to move on to the next leg of the race, and the one where they have to design clothes made of vegetables, and then get in trouble because “no woman wants to wear an eggplant belt.” Like it was their idea to begin with.
I wonder about the TV often. I’ve watched it all my life. As far as I know; maybe there were some early years, or months, when I didn’t. I know by the time I was seven I was rolling the TV on its little cart into my room at night to watch Johnny Carson after Mom went to bed. There are times when I think this might not be the best use of my short time on Earth. So I read a book or take a walk or wash the dishes and then I wonder why I can’t just watch TV if I’m going to waste time like that anyway. I guess I’m an addict.
And here are some photos of my sister and me.
Here are more photos of Nancy!
And I’m still waiting to hear from all those Facebook friends who were so crushed to hear that I might leave Facebook once I’d returned.
I have been released from occupational therapy, having made as much progress under their care as possible. Now, the rest is up to me.
With that, I will now shut the fuck up and get to work! 🙂
PS: I totally forgot to include this picture of Nancy!
Plus another bonus clip!