Since I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, instead I’m making New Year’s goals! See how unorthodox I am.

Due to my non-belief in New Year’s resolutions (or possibly goals), I figure I can start doing these (or not) anytime I want. I just happen to be writing them now.

So, in no particular order, here they are:

I resolve to quit being sarcastic – as if!

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I resolve not to give a damn about my book sales figures.


I resolve to keep spilling food on my shirt – so there!

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I resolve to do unto others as they would do unto me.


I resolve to drink enough espresso per day to make even my good hand clench uncontrollably.


I resolve to smear toothpaste all over my pajamas.

I resolve to not make any more resolutions – ever!


Query: how many of the above do you think are true? What are your resolutions (or non-resolutions)?

PS: Happy April Fool’s Day – in advance!


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