If you’re going to become a screenwriter, you need to practice writing in screenplay format. Screenwriting is, to put it simply, similar, but very different from writing novels or short stories.

Screenwriting involves using the bare minimum of words to tell the story. In addition, while good dialogue is essential, film is a visual medium. So, if you can show the character doing something that tells the story, it can work better than having them talk.

Another thing about screenwriting is that you have to get it vetted by impartial readers. That’s why I joined a screenwriters’ critique group.

Here’s a sample of a short screenplay I just finished. It needs polishing, but it’s a start.

PRIVATE MESSAGES
by Debbi Mack

FADE IN:

INT. DEN – NIGHT
The dimly-lit room is lined with packed bookshelves. An assortment of crime fiction, books about writing, and crime research texts.

INTERVIEWER (V.O.)
So, I understand you’re working on your next Kit Larson mystery, Ms. Gaffney?

JANE (V.O.)
Yes, this will be the tenth in the series.

JANE, mid-50s, intense expression, sits at a desk, staring at her computer monitor.

INTERVIEWER (V.O.)
It’s been nearly two years since your last book. I’m sure your fans are looking forward to it.

Over Jane’s shoulder, the monitor shows a few typed lines. Jane grimaces.

JANE
Fuck!

Jane clicks to her Facebook fan page. She types: “Now working on tenth Kit Larson novel. Wish I could say it gets easier.”

She pauses, adding a smiley emoticon before posting it.

Jane rises and stretches her arms. She picks up a mug and exits the room. A DING notification sounds. Jane returns, sipping from the mug. A private message from BERNARD LEONI (no avatar).

ON SCREEN
Stop now. You’ve already caused enough misery.

JANE
God, I hate Facebook.

She shakes her head.

INT. DEN – NEXT NIGHT
Jane’s at her desk, tweeting. The same document is open, with two more lines added.

Jane tweets a funny GIF about writer’s block. She sighs and sips from her mug.

A DING notification catches her attention. Another private message from Bernard Leoni.

ON SCREEN
I wish you’d get a terminal case of writer’s block.

JANE
What the fuck is his problem?

Another DING rings out. A private message from NICHOLAS STEPHENSON (no avatar).

ON SCREEN
Get a real job or learn to write.

JANE
What is it with haters?

INT. DEN – NEXT NIGHT
Jane’s typing at her desk. She stops and scans the few lines she’s written. Jane heaves a sigh.

JANE
Thought I’d never get started.

A DING sounds from her computer. Jane pauses before bringing up the minimized browser.

It’s a private message sent to Jane, Nicholas Stephenson, and Bernard Leoni from NINA ROTH, whose avatar is a woman, mid-40s with brown, shoulder-length hair.

ON SCREEN
Don’t you remember us?

JANE
Oh, for God’s sake–

She stops and stares at the screen.

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Jane runs in, heads straight for a bookshelf. Scans the titles and picks one up. The book is “Death in Small Doses: A Kit Larson Mystery”.

Jane thumbs through pages, then stops.

JANE
(reading aloud)
Nina Roth was attractive with shoulder-length brown hair and a don’t-fuck-with-me attitude. Kit judged her to be roughly in her mid-40s, but young-looking for her age.
(beat)
Seriously?

Jane tosses the book aside.

INT. DEN – NIGHT
Jane’s on the phone, pacing the room.

JANE
Have you ever had a reader do this to you?

MARCIA (V.O.)
Well … no.

JANE
I wonder if it’s a jealous colleague.

MARCIA (V.O.)
Have you reported this to Facebook? You could even block them.

JANE
How?

MARCIA (V.O.)
Go to the help section and look a part about reporting problems. They’ll give you directions to report harassment or block it.

JANE
Thanks, Marcia.

INT. DEN – LATER
Jane types at her computer. She clicks through the Facebook instructions for reporting or blocking users.

JANE
Fuck it. I’m blocking them.

She types a bit, pauses, then clicks her mouse decisively. Jane grabs her mug and heads to the kitchen. She returns to her computer, just as a DING sounds.

Jane sits at the computer and peers at the screen.

It’s a private message from Bernard Leoni.

ON SCREEN
Nice try.

JANE
What the fuck?

Jane’s fingers fly across the keys. She enters the Facebook “report a problem” section. Typing madly, she hits “send”, only to get a generic autoreply. Jane keeps clicking through options.

JANE (CONT’D)
C’mon, c’mon. Don’t you have an email or chat or something?
(beat)
Aw … shit!

Jane’s shoulders slump, as she stares at the screen. She looks closer and her eyes widen. Slowly, Jane shakes her head.

JANE (CONT’D)
No way.

Jane jumps up and runs from the room.

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Jane flies inside and lunges into the closet. She struggles to remove a box full of manuscript pages.

Jane pulls stacks of paper out. Near the bottom, she finds one entitled “Death in Deep Waters”.

She flips through the pages. Stops on one that mentions Bernard Leoni.

Jane looks stunned, frozen.

*****

That’s only the first half. I’d be interested in your thoughts. Feel free to leave a comment.

Maybe I could expand on this and make it an episode of this show! 🙂