One of the new ways of writing I’ve been exploring is the world of fiction podcasting. Someone has to write the podcast scripts for them, right?

What I’d really like to do is write a parody of an old-fashioned radio play, like this one.

But here’s a few lines from an idea that came to me. Not all of them. Just enough to give you a taste! 🙂

Scene One: Funeral Home – Day

1. MUSIC: FUNERAL ORGAN–UP. ESTABLISH. CONTINUE UNDER.
2. SOUND: Murmured voices.
3. REBECCA: So sorry for your loss.
4. ED (his voice catching): Thank you.
5. REBECCA: Kim will be missed.
6. KIM: Bollocks!
7. MAEVE: What’s wrong, sweetie? Aren’t you glad to be here?
8. KIM: At my own funeral? Well … no.
9. MAEVE: But this is a rare treat for most mortals.
10. KIM: It would be, if I hadn’t been murdered.
11. MUSIC: ORGAN MUSIC FADES.

Scene Two: Party – Night

1. SOUND: Party noises.
2. LISA: Great party, Kim.
3. KIM: Thanks, Lisa. You’ve been a dear to help out. Have you seen Ed?
4. LISA: I just saw him making the rounds.
5. KIM: Probably too pissed up to notice me calling his name.
6. LISA: Pissed up? I like that one.
7. KIM: Uh huh. I need to pop upstairs for a bit. Be right back.
8. SOUND: Footsteps. Party noises fade. Door opens. Rummaging sounds.
9. KIM: Could have sworn I hid his pressie here.
10. REBECCA: (from downstairs): Kim, we’re bringing out the cake.
11. KIM: Hang on!
12. SOUND: Door closes. Footsteps. Loud crack. Sounds of body thumping down steps.

Scene Three: Funeral Home – Day

1. MUSIC: ORGAN MUSIC UP.
2. SOUND: Murmured voices.
3. KIM: That’s the last thing I remember.
4. MAEVE: We’ll have to work on that then.

*****

In case you hadn’t noticed, Kim is supposed to be a British transplant to the U.S. I’m working on the British slang to make her stand out a bit. So any suggestions from you, the reader, on that point would be greatly appreciated! 🙂

Please do me the favor of taking this short poll.

Thank you!

PS: Please, if your choice is “Other”, try to keep it clean. 🙂