Submitted For Your Consideration

October 2008

First Times

The chubby little goldfinch sat on the feeder perch, cheeping loudly. Now and then, he (or she) would peck at the plastic, trying to get to the thistle within.

The kid hadn't figured it out. But his parents knew.

Our thistle feeder is set up to discourage birds other than goldfinches from using it. The feeding holes are underneath the perches, rather than above them. Goldfinches (unlike most birds, it seems) have the ability to hang upside down to retrieve food.

On my porch, I watched the parents hang casually from their perches, pecking at the food with no problem. At first, they were willing to fly to their chick and feed him. But now, the chick's repeated cries seemed to be falling on deaf ears.

"C'mon," I thought. "You can do it."

The kid did his best to avoid the inevitable. He squawked and squawked and flapped his wings in what looked like birdie indignation. He flew after his parents, raising a ruckus as he did. He was still squawking (in a cry that sounded eerily like that of a baby) when I went inside.

The next day, I was once again on the porch. The chubby goldfinch was back, along with some other chicks. They sat stiffly upright on their perches. Then, one of them took a quick, experimental dive toward the food and came back up, wings flapping to maintain balance.

"That's it!" I thought. "Now you've got it."

The chubby one took longer to get around to it, but even he finally made a grudging downward stretch toward the feeding hole. He snapped up some thistle and quickly righted himself, again with a flutter of wings.

This little nature drama has been playing out in our backyard over the last couple of weeks. When I first wrote this, the chicks were becoming increasingly confident in their feeding maneuvers. Now that I'm reviewing and finalizing these thoughts, they've already reached the point where they can feed with almost equal dexterity as their parents.

The old saw that "there's a first time for everything" isn't really true. In the birds' case, there had to be a first time to use the feeder, if they wanted to live. Necessity forced them to take those first, awkward steps.

But many people are discouraged from trying new things for fear of looking stupid, making mistakes -- in short, fear of failure.

Fear is what holds most people back from doing things they could do, if they weren't so busy being terrified of failure to do them.

Fear of failure is what keeps people from taking the steps necessary to achieve a number of things, including: seeking out relationships (both personal and business-oriented); making a job or career change; starting a business; expanding a business; public speaking; pursuing a career in the arts or in other highly-speculative fields. Fear of failure, in short, holds people back. It stunts their growth as individuals.

It doesn't help, either, that we live in a culture in which security and conventional wisdom are so highly valued. Parents with artistic children will often try to steer them into "practical" fields, fearful that they'll need something to fall back on if their dreams don't pan out. Well-intended friends of entrepreneurs trying to implement a unique vision for a business may pooh-pooh that person's initial efforts, dismissing them as the product of pipe dreams.

We're so conditioned simply to tread the well-worn path through school, career and retirement without thinking about why we're doing it, that it may make even the most adventurous of us nervous about straying from that path.

If you have something you want to accomplish, however, you must be willing to take a few risks. You must be willing to look awkward, probably make a few mistakes. But, like those goldfinch chicks learning to negotiate the thistle feeder, if you keep at it enough, you'll eventually know what you're doing.

So don't be afraid to try new things. For any new thing you want to try, there is always a first time. But, as one entrepreneur I know put it, "What's the worst that can happen?" You strike out, you falter, you fail -- then, you pick yourself back up. Learn from your mistakes. Keep trying.

I'll conclude with two of my favorite quotations: one is a familiar line from a Robert Frost poem; the other, a less-familiar line from e.e. cummings.

Frost, in his poem "The Road Not Taken," wrote: "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

There's a sense of potential regret in the poem, a recognition that making choices can lead places you never expected -- and that you don't get the chance to go back and make those choices over. There's the risk that "the difference" could be bad. But there's also the possibility that it could be good. And (to stretch the analogy out a bit) while you might not be able to change your choices, you can always alter your course if the path you follow takes you in the wrong direction.

The e.e. cummings line I love is: "To be nobody-but-myself -- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting."

It's another reflection on our ability to choose -- and how sometimes you have to fight the siren song of conventional wisdom and the status quo to be exactly who you choose to be.

Goldfinches don't get to choose, but people do. If you're doing something for the first time -- no matter what it is -- don't be afraid. Choose your path and take those first steps, no matter how faltering. The trip may not always be easy, but it can be well worth the effort.

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And speaking of first times . . .

I'm organizing a fundraising event for the first time. Am I anxious? Of course. Do I know exactly what I'm doing? No. (Yes. Maybe?) Let's just say I'm learning as I go and I'm not only a quick study, but an eager student.

The Event and the Cause
This will be a motorcycle ride to raise awareness of a condition called dystonia, as well as money for the Dystonia Medical Research Foundation (DMRF). Dystonia is the third most common movement disorder, after Parkinson's and tremors. It afflicts at least 300,000 people in North America. (I suspect the number is actually much higher, since that statistic is several years old and dystonia is often initially misdiagnosed as a psychological or other disorder.) For some people, dystonia is a severely disabling condition that spells an end to careers, hobbies and other pursuits. For others, it is disabling enough to make those pursuits much harder than they used to be. In any case, it has a substantial impact on sufferers' quality of life, their psychological well-being and their relationships with others.

Where and (Tentatively) When
The ride will take place next year (our tentative date is Sat., May 2, 2009, but the exact date and time are to be determined) at the Old Glory Harley-Davidson dealership in Laurel MD. It will be organized as a "poker run," in which riders make stops along the route to pick up cards and, at the destination, the winning hand gets a prize. There will be door prizes and a raffle as well. And food -- can't have a ride without food. I won't have a firm date and time until at least mid-January '09. As soon as I know what they are, I'll let you know, too.

What You Can Do
Not only am I looking for riders and volunteers, but I'm seeking sponsors and people who would like to donate (money, food or goods/services to award as prizes) to the cause. So please keep your eyes on this space! More information will become available on how to contribute. If you're interested in lending support or would like to know more, please feel free to email me. You can help raise awareness and support the research needed to find a cure for this little-known, but often highly debilitating, disorder.

"I've Never Heard of Dystonia"
Most people haven't. Even many medical professionals are unfamiliar with it. That's part of the reason I'm doing this -- I want more people to know about dystonia and understand the need to find a cure.

Maybe the best way to explain dystonia is to show you what it can do. You can see and hear about the effects dystonia can have on people by watching this public service announcement on the Bachmann-Strauss Dystonia & Parkinson Foundation's home page or on YouTube (see below). I would also highly recommend watching a short film by dystonia sufferer Laurel Chiten called "Twisted," about how dystonia has affected the lives of three people. It was shown on the PBS stations in the Baltimore-Washington area for a while -- generally at one or two in the morning, when no one was watching.

If you're looking for a definition, the DMRF's Web site says: "Dystonia is a movement disorder that causes the muscles to contract and spasm involuntarily. The neurological mechanism that makes muscles relax when they are not in use does not function properly. Opposing muscles often contract simultaneously as if they are 'competing' for control of a body part. The involuntary muscle contractions force the body into repetitive and often twisting movements as well as awkward, irregular postures."

This is a long way of saying that dystonia causes muscles to clench and spasm constantly -- every waking moment. The effect on people can vary, depending on what part or parts of the body are affected. Dystonia can cause a person's entire body to bend and move uncontrollably; it can also affect only one body part -- cause the neck to twist, the jaw to lock or grind, eyes to blink excessively or the hand to clench, a condition known as "writers cramp" that's often suffered by musicians (like Leon Fleisher or guitarist Billy McLaughlin), writers and artists (like "Dilbert" cartoonist Scott Adams). Some people (such as NPR's talk show host Diane Rehm and mystery author Martha Grimes) suffer dystonic spasms in their vocal chords (a form known as spasmodic dysphonia).

The disorder can be caused by genetics, overuse of the hands, or brain trauma or stroke (as I have come to know, the hard way). As a dystonia sufferer (I have it in the left hand and foot, due to stroke), I will say that the muscle contractions and twisting motions are often painful as well. They've made writing much more difficult for me -- but not impossible by a long shot.

The causes and types of dystonia vary so widely -- and go by so many different names --I'll refer you to this description from the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, rather than recite the whole thing here.

Suffice it to say, I'm embarking on a new venture of great importance to me that I hope will increase funding for dystonia research and educate the public about this disabling condition. Wish me luck and, if you have questions, suggestions, or would like to contribute (financially or otherwise), please feel free to contact me.

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