Submitted For Your Consideration

January 2009

Spontaneous Combustion

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about marketing plans and budgets, branding and promotion, not only for my freelancing business but in anticipation of republishing my out-of-print novel, Identity Crisis. In addition to this, I've been working on a variety of projects, including a military relocation guide (for Moody Air Force Base -— I know everything there is to know about Valdosta, GA now), Web site content, brochures, and a video for a fundraiser.

Then there's fiction writing. I'm making the time for that (by hook or by crook), because contrary to popular belief these stories really don't write themselves. It takes time, it takes effort, it takes commitment -- okay, you have to be seriously disturbed, a masochist, to keep at this whole fiction writing thing and hope that someday, somehow, somebody in the publishing business who sees it will say, "I like it. I really like it." (It happened to me once, and I just know it can happen again.)

Oh, and did I mention the fundraiser? The Freedom Ride for Dystonia 2009 (the first annual ride, with any luck) is currently scheduled for Saturday, May 2, 2009. I'm still seeking sponsors, door prize donations, volunteers and (of course) riders and event attendees. The first 100 riders to register get a free event T-shirt. After the ride (a poker run, with a $250 grand prize for the winner), an event will be held at Old Glory Harley-Davidson in Laurel, MD, featuring food, vendors and music by the band, Spiral. Check the Web site for more details as they develop.

So I guess you could say I've been keeping busy. And all the while, I've been trying to think strategically about what I'm doing. Not only to plan ahead and give myself adequate time to do each of the things I want (or need) to do, but to think about which of those things are really worth doing. What things are going to help me achieve my goals. This leads to other issues like: What are my goals? Why did I choose those goals? Are these really my goals or goals that someone else imposed on me that I've never questioned?

If this all sounds very heady and existentialist, maybe it is, but these are questions worth pondering. They occurred to me as I read a book I'm reviewing about how women (though men can benefit from it, as well) can succeed in business by improving their leadership skills.*

These very questions are posed at the beginning of the book. In order to succeed, the first thing you need to know is who you are and what you value. Why? Because successful people share an essential trait: they are passionate about what they do. So you have to ask yourself: Who am I? What do I want? A more detailed discussion of these topics leads to the even headier questions of what your values are and what "vision" you have for your life. Sort of the individual's version of what nonprofit organizations call a "mission," your vision (to quote the book) "serves as a beacon, providing a direction and purpose to help you navigate through your work. It helps you to continue moving forward in spite of all the distractions and disappointments and detours that you encounter along the way."

The book provides many questions, analysis charts and exercises to guide you through the process of figuring out who you are, what you value, your vision and all the rest. And that's just chapter two.

In another chapter on work-life balance, the author suggests you create a pie chart of all the different aspects you want in your life: career, recreation, service, relationships, health and spiritual are a few of the categories. So you figure out how you're dividing that up now, then tackle a series of other questions about the chart (two sets: one for now, one for the future -- sheesh).

So I'm standing in the shower, thinking (it's where I do some of my best thinking) about pie charts and work-life balance and values and having a vision for my life, when it struck me. The one thing I could really use in my life -- spontaneity.

I mean, remember when you were younger and didn't have as many commitments (at least, I didn't) or ambitions (at least, I didn't) or long-term goals (at least... you know)? Someone might call and say, "Let's have pizza for lunch" or "You want to go to a party tonight?" Out of the blue. And you'd just do it. And who knows where things would go from there. One time, when I was in college, I attended a play in which my friend appeared and ended up taking a spontaneous trip with her and two other people to Ocean City, Maryland (about 150 miles, one-way) afterward, where I spent all night playing miniature golf and watched the sun rise on the beach the next morning -- now that's spontaneity . . .

Don't get me wrong. I'm still a planner at heart. I'm not advocating that every day be a series of unplanned events. (I'm also a firm believer that, while luck can play a huge part in the equation, we are in large part responsible for who we are and where we end up. Essentially, we are the sum total of our decisions. T.M. Shine recently wrote in Washington Post Magazine about letting other people make all his decisions. A prospect tempting on the one hand, frightening on the other.) I think these exercises in self-examination and vision planning and goal setting are useful. But, now and then, I think we should chuck all that. Set aside the Day Planner or the Blackberry, quit being so productive and just do something fun on the spur of the moment.

It doesn't have to be a big thing. It could be as simple as baking cookies and watching old movies. Or as involved as a day trip to a place you've been wanting to see, but just never gotten around to. Obviously, some things lend themselves to being done spontaneously better than others, e.g., getting together with a friend for coffee (good candidate) versus taking a trip to Australia (not so good, unless you have way more money and time than I do).

I decided right then and there that I needed to add more spontaneity to my life. So that day I set aside my Day Planner and decided on the spur of the moment to call my sister. A small thing, yes, but one I hadn't anticipated doing and decided to do for fun. Okay, I needed to get my nephew's address, too, because I'd planned to do Christmas cards, but really I wanted to talk to my sister anyhow. And, yes, I ended up doing the Christmas cards, but the point is, I did an unplanned thing for the fun of it (even if there was a useful thing embedded in there).

Allowing myself that time not to think about my goals, my vision and my plans was just what I needed. That small detour from the day's agenda, that brief period of doing something just for fun, with no particular goal except "in the moment" satisfaction (the nephew's address was fortuity, I swear) was exhilarating. I highly recommend that, now and then, everyone toss their to-do lists and regularly scheduled programming aside and do something spontaneous. It could be a walk in your neighborhood park or a night at the movies. You could browse at a local bookstore or hang out at a coffee shop/diner/bar and listen to people's conversations. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination.

I hope to enjoy many more spontaneous moments like these in the future. In fact, I'm planning on it.

* The book in question is It's Not a Glass Ceiling, It's a Sticky Floor, in case you're interested. And it is well worth reading, even if you don't work in a corporate setting.

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